Seymour Hersh Uncovers New Thing Too Sad To Think About

The Onion talks of the New Yorker:

NEW YORK—Sources at The New Yorker said a new article by investigative journalist Seymour Hersh "blows the lid completely off" a subject matter far too soul-crushing for the human brain to process. Hersh, renowned for breaking stories on events such as the My Lai Massacre and Abu Ghraib, is said to have plumbed every last, depressing detail of the newly uncovered topic, which likely involves an inconceivable combination of violence, drunken abuses of power, wanton disregard for the sanctity of human life, and a chain of deceit and corruption leading all the way to the top. According to a recent poll, none of The New Yorker's nearly 1 million subscribers had summoned the strength to crack the story's first paragraph, instead turning to the new Roz Chast cartoon on the next page.*

* Although I appreciate the Onion's attempt to close with a Roz Chast joke, anyone who has ever read a Seymour Hersh piece for the New Yorker knows that it is highly unlikely that a cartoon would be found on the next page...Those things are long.**

** Oh, the New Yorker intersperses cartoons to break up the text of the articles. Hmm. Forget I said anything.